The 23:59 Ditty
So that was that
It’s all come to an end
A year of daft ditties
You thought would ever end
Some were quite funny
Some were very deep
Some were just silly
Others, very deep
Whatever you thought of them
I hope you enjoyed the ride
Time to see in the Bells now
It’s time to get pie-eyed
To those that popped in once in a while
I raise my glass for chinking
To those that were here from the very start
What the fuck were you lot thinking?
Finally, the lurgy hits
A different year;
a different sickness
only the change in years
indicate I have fallen
and am again
dominated by illness
At least I am
unlikely to suffer
from the bitter hands
of a new year hangover
And I have proved
only so many bright
orange glasses of Berocca
will work before it gets you
The hours are shorter now than ever before
The year is closing, dying all around
The days are desperate like an old Texas whore
While we look to celebrate with a night on the town
The new year gives a chance to wipe the slate clean
The cycle of life; heart, mind and flesh
To start life afresh and begin it all again
From Paisley to Ayr or Luss to Bangladesh
The office
is empty
like the remains
of a used egg shell
that was fried before
being placed in a roll
for my breakfast.
I also had tea.
And a sausage.
The world of emails
And chasing tails
Is never far away
Post Shrimp blues
Make a fresh brew
Holding on to pay-day
In the shadow of Christmas
The day after the feast
Bellies feeling swollen
Gifts growing older
A hangover of sorts
Maybe from wine
Maybe from chocolate
Done for another year
The gifts are all unwrapped
The surprises fully untapped
The food devoured and eaten
The turkey has us beaten
The booze has taken its toll
Couldn’t stand up with a pole
The celebrations are all over
All that remains: the hangover
Streets are like deep rivers
while gifts are being delivered
The kids try to eek a peek
of Santa’s exciting mystique
The food is now prepared
all ready to be shared
And in the air is peace and love
among the Christmas Eve doves
The decorations are up
The tree glistens with “wee”
Santa will soon be here
But we have no chimney
A day out with my other half
In the cold air of the capital
Music, drinks and plenty laughs
Boy, did we have a basketful
A Ditty A Day 